Hope versus High

/ Robert K Maxfield

Recently I have re-visited the concept of Hope.  Like you, I have bad days.  Some people tell me that they don’t have bad days, and during my good days, it is easier for me to believe this about them.  I observe these people and find that for the most part they do indeed appear to have good attitudes everyday.  I am always in such awe of these people.  I consider them to be life’s great people.  Andy Lincoln is one of them.

Andy always brings way more than he takes.  I am most fortunate to spend a lot of days with him on the filming of The Walking Dead, and I am always comforted when I see him.  He is such a giver…and a person who is always so high on life.  He is so strong in spirit, so consistent in compassion, and so very talented at portraying Rick Grimes.  In 29 years of being a film worker I have never witnessed a human being give so much of him or herself to a role.  He should, and I believe he will, win numerous awards.  I admire him so much as a person, and I look to him as an example of how I would like to be.  But the truth is, I am not Andy Lincoln.  I am not a lot of other people that I look up to, and I don’t think you can be the people you admire either.  Good or bad, you can only be yourself.IMG_3541

Many people would encourage you to have…hope.  You know, that light at the end of the tunnel that you can see and especially feel, but that you never can quite reach.  I understand that concept, and like many of you have looked to it for some sense of comfort in knowing that my time will come.  Well, it’s been a long and arduous road and I’m not always sure whether I’ve reached the end of my tunnel.  In fact, it typically doesn’t feel like I’ve reached the light…until I look back.  Almost always I can look back over my past years and see how that dark place I was in needed to happen for me to move on to a better place.  I see, and understand, how much I’ve really accomplished.  I feel, on my good days, the broader and more wise person that I’ve become.  It’s especially cool to be alive on these days.  I look forward to the next.

To me hope is like cope.  You’re not feeling the results of reward, you’re only trying to believe that you will get past their presence.  You can live with hope, but it really doesn’t feel all that good.  You can cope with your situation, but it doesn’t feel like a place you want to be.  So, I prefer to look at it a different way.  I strive to live a life of highs.  A buddy of mine in the film business and I used to call them “Peak Experiences”.  We would chuckle quite regularly, which is a very healthy thing to do, about how we were going to find or create a new “Peak Experience”.  Instead of living in hope, and just coping with the current misgivings, we would put our sights on the next adventurous undertaking.  We would not just look at the light at the end of the tunnel, we would plan it’s inevitable existence.  We would implement an activity that would bring us great joy.  And we laughed about doing it, what the outcome would be, and how we would get there.  We made fun of ourselves, the circumstances we would end up in, and what it would do to us as ordinary humans.  The point is, we didn’t just cope and hope, we took action and created realities that one day we were able to look back and say, “Holy crap, we did that!”.  And to this day we laugh about those old highs that we shared together.  I believe that by living your life today, by creating big and little highs, you will over and over live a life of highs, rather than lows.  No small deed, or positive activity, goes without a sumptous reward.

27 thoughts on “Hope versus High”

  4. I really needed this too. I’m not even in bed, I’ve been sleeping on my brother’s couch. I just started a minimum wage job in L.A. even though I have a bachelors in business admin. I’m just coping until I figure it out.
    My life kinda seems like Reality Bites except I don’t look like Wynona Ryder and I definitely don’t have Ethan Hawke or Ben Stiller interested in me. Haha.

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  6. Thank you so much for this piece, Robert! Thank you so, so much! Thank you also for your words about Andy, he is such an inspiration for a lot of us! Ok I need to say it again: THANK. YOU.

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  7. Hey Robert, this is such a gift today. Beautifully written, inspirational, full of life wisdom. Thank you. I am negotiating life on many levels, and while I am carving out good spaces of writing time, and getting lots of good stuff going, it is not going as quickly as I would wish, and I have been mentally beating myself up a little for it. Your post helps me keep the focus on the positve. I would love to reblog this after I get my last two posts out, if that’s cool. Cheers and thanks again!

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    • Please know that your process will always feel like you’re not doing enough, and that you will always be hard on yourself. It’s the nature of what we do. BUT, when you take small actions and reap more and more small rewards, you will inevitably receive large and wonderful Kudos. Take a step…right now. Yes, reblog please!

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  9. This is so true, I myself have just figured out life is what you make it. Took me 41 years to figure that out but at least I did while I still have time left on this big blue marble. Life is what you make it, take that uncertain step with your eyes wide open. You might surprise yourself as to where you end up. Hope is powerful thing once you grasp it, hang on for the full 8 seconds so to speak. I know I have and it has shown me things that I never would have though possible. Put me in situations I could never of dreamed. This year is when I grasped hope and the good Lord above had bless not only me but my family and people around me. Hope it does a body good! Have a blessed day Robert 😉

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  11. The articulation and relevance of your words never fail to convey exactly what point you are trying to make. Well thought, well said. People need to look @ where they’ve been to be able to see where they’re headed. I see the saying “Live,Laugh,Love” everywhere. I think you & I ought to create a new brand… We’ll call it “Concieve,Believe,Achive”. What say you?

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  13. This truly moves me to tears. I feel the same way. Not in a bad place just sort of going through the motions so to speak (coping). I cannot find my niche that makes me feel complete. Thank you so much for your words. I Just keep going on and looking for my higher road (peak). PS very sweet what you said about Andy. I saw him in Atlanta and he looks like a good soul.

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    • Create some “high” in your life that doesn’t involve food, drugs, or illicit sex. Do something simple, but rewarding. Keep doing more and more of those things and one day you’ll look back and go “Wow, I have a lot of good things happening!”

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